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g. wizzicker's wizzstickers f.a.q.s.:
"if it isn't a wizzsticker, it isn't funny."
q: is that weird guy i saw selling wizzstickers on campus on gameday actually g. wizzicker himself?

a: no. like santa and his shopping mall lookalikes, g. wizzicker has "helpers" who do the legwork for him while he concentrates on thinking up new hilarious wizzsticker ideas. g. wizzicker only hired that "weird guy" to sell wizzstickers because he happened to have a spare toilet seat and a ridiculously big orange wig. so please don't tease him, pull on his wig, spit on him, or yell at him.

q: my wizzsticker doesn't stick inside the toilet! this piece of crap doesn't work! what's the problem?

a: trust g. wizzicker - the problem is you. 99.94% of adhesion problems with wizzstickers are due to installer error. taking 15 extra seconds to make certain the porcelain is absolutely dry with a hairdryer will make the difference between a wizzsticker that provides months of bathroom humor and a wizzsticker that makes you want to strangle g. wizzicker. take the sage advice of the toilet sticker king . . . dry the porcelain!

q: will my wizzsticker leave adhesive residue on the porcelain after i remove it?

a: testing has not revealed any adhesive residue. if residue remains after removal, it may be removed using "goo-gone"or by simply cleaning your toilet with your normal toilet cleanser.

q: how long will my wizzsticker last in my toilet bowl?

a: g. wizzicker has put wizzstickers to the test in his own personal "experimental environment." his totally non-scientific tests have revealed that wizzstickers can last 3 months and beyond. of course, the environment under which each wizzsticker exists varies widely. try to place the wizzsticker on a relatively flat section of the toilet bowl. also, when cleaning your toilet after application, care should be taken to avoid lifting the edges of the wizzsticker. once water begins to seep under the wizzsticker, the adhesive will be quickly compromised. by the way, once your wizzsticker is submerged inside your toilet, don't remove it and try to reposition it, as the inks will crack. however, when applied and cared for properly according to our tips and suggestions, each wizzsticker should provide months of hilarity.

q: can wizzstickers get scratched?

a: wizzstickers will withstand normal toilet use. they will withstand fading and are rub-proof. however, they will scratch when scraped with sharp objects, including bristled brushes, fingernails, and penguin beaks. when cleaning your toilet, avoid scraping the surface of the wizzsticker with a bristled toilet brush. to clean the surface of a wizzsticker, use toilet paper or a sponge and wipe softly.

q: how do i get a wizzsticker for my school's rival?

a: that's what personalized wizzstickers are for! fill out the personalization form and piss on whatever city, state, person, etc. you want.

q: i found a typo on you're websight, and its driveing me crazy. what should i doo?

a: although g. wizzicker employs an army of web designers and copy editors, they sometimes make mistakes because they are laughing so hard at their own hilarious writing. nevertheless, if you find an error, e-mail g. wizzicker at gwizzicker@wizzstickers.com and tell him about it. g. wizzicker will promptly fire the employee responsible.

q: can i put my wizzsticker anywhere else besides inside my toilet bowl or urinal?

a: sure. go for it. however, g. wizzicker has no idea what will happen and cannot be responsible for any resulting damage. several "off-label" uses have been suggested, including the placement of wizzstickers on toilet seats, car bumpers, walls, refrigerators, butts, and breasts. in no way is g. wizzicker condoning such uses, but, heck, if you do use a wizzsticker in a crazy way, make sure to send it to me using the form here, and we'll post it under our wizzsticker of the week section (with appropriately placed black censor bars, if necessary).